Archive for the 'girls girls girls' Category


Imaginary Best Friend

My daughters are starting Kindergarten in a little over a week and I admit that in addition to the thrills of seeing them enter school (school!!), the prospect of meeting new people and possibly making new friends is exciting as well.

Since my daughters were born I’ve always worked outside the home. I’ve never joined Mommy & Me classes, never attended playdates, never EVER went to Gymboree. I *did* go to a new mother’s group for 2 weeks until my sleep deprivation (and potty mouth) decided it was time to depart for edgier climes. I don’t feel like I fit in to the usual mommy groups… Hence, the joy of meeting and making sweet lady friends on-line… (all of whom are even better in person)

So the possibility that I might actually make a REAL LIFE mommy friend has me endlessly excited and terminally crossing my fingers that somewhere in this school I’ll meet a kindred soul. Maybe someone as cool and funny as her, or her, or even her.

Here is a picture of my dream girl:

1. Swears

2. Drinks

3. Reads

4. Talks about sex

5. Wears cute shoes

6. Whip Smart

7. Sassy, edgy, big-brained, and big hearted.

And my imaginary friend will hardly *ever* talk solely about her kids. Oh and? She would love to sit and giggle over an intimate glass of wine.

And I have a funny feeling she isn’t the type of gal to wear this:


But she might wear this:


More fodder for the breast-feeders to hate me today at Babble


Who’s Afraid of the Mommy Wars?

Had enough of the mommy wars? Despite the fact that many of us claim to be all done with the slings and arrows, there is no way around the fact that motherhood is incendiary. Newsweek’s article “Enough with the Mommy Wars” is case in point.Mojo Mom takes author Kathleen Deveny to task for neglecting the deeper issues and sticking to the shallow end of mom-theory typified by mommy lit lite. Expecting Executive demands an apology and encourages Newsweek to turn to better sources for the real story on motherhood, including BlogHer. Last week, Kelly wondered if we’ve become narcissist mommies.

But really, what is the big deal? Ms. Deveny commits heresy by claiming she’s bored to death of the mommy wars and the snobbiness on message boards ( the Internet makes mommy mean) as well as the tiresome taxonomy of motherhood represented by mom lit (rocker mamas, MILFs, momzillas, slummy mummies…). I say go ahead and be bored and oversimplify as much as you like. Write about how dull it all is in Times, Newsweek and the New York Times. You’re missing the point.

That the Mommy Wars exist primarily online and in print doesn’t mean they aren’t real. They provide a safer (and less confrontational) outlet for people to yell about childrearing. Just take a look over at the comments generated on Babble by the hospital formula ban and one easily sees what all the fuss is about.

These debates serve a real useful purpose. They help us parent better. They help us articulate and define our positions. They help us understand different approaches and viewpoints more effectively. And yes, they are also silly and catty and petty. But the Mommy Wars are also empowering and enlightening. And that is why I hope they continue for a long long time.

**cross-posted at Babble**


this time we didn’t even talk about oral sex

Well, not that I remember.

Homeward now and further reflections on the power of BlogHer. Not the sessions, or the classes, but the force and passion of women in a room together chatting about the world.

But it wasn’t without it’s moments — this gathering. The conversation/debate about whether the “momosphere” is cliquey — the hurt feelings the somewhat heated discussions — did raise some crucial issues. There is clearly a hierarchy to the mommy blogosphere — a slumber-party funniness replete with talent and longevity (most of these sweeties have been blogging for around 2 years — which is like 15 in blog years) that is totally deserved, but honestly can be somewhat intimidating.

But to get caught up in that is missing the whole point. Truthfully, I like to believe there is enough room for plenty more writers ….an endless supply of room, and air, and so many important stories we all, YOU, need to share.

Attending BlogHer made me so grateful, to the women writers I read, who help me every day, grapple with the loud small people, laugh at the total oddness of the human condition. This laughter and storytelling is creating paradigmatic shift in politics, activism, self-expression… of this I’m convinced.

Even poor conference attendees like me (giggling away in the back with these two) could feel the simmering revolution.

What revolution?

Something like this.

Oh. And, I’m starting a Lisa Stone Fanclub (she’s one of the founders of BlogHer and is gorgeous and smart and I want to be her in my next life, rather than the beetle they have me scheduled to become, those karma rats).