Imaginary Best Friend

My daughters are starting Kindergarten in a little over a week and I admit that in addition to the thrills of seeing them enter school (school!!), the prospect of meeting new people and possibly making new friends is exciting as well.

Since my daughters were born I’ve always worked outside the home. I’ve never joined Mommy & Me classes, never attended playdates, never EVER went to Gymboree. I *did* go to a new mother’s group for 2 weeks until my sleep deprivation (and potty mouth) decided it was time to depart for edgier climes. I don’t feel like I fit in to the usual mommy groups… Hence, the joy of meeting and making sweet lady friends on-line… (all of whom are even better in person)

So the possibility that I might actually make a REAL LIFE mommy friend has me endlessly excited and terminally crossing my fingers that somewhere in this school I’ll meet a kindred soul. Maybe someone as cool and funny as her, or her, or even her.

Here is a picture of my dream girl:

1. Swears

2. Drinks

3. Reads

4. Talks about sex

5. Wears cute shoes

6. Whip Smart

7. Sassy, edgy, big-brained, and big hearted.

And my imaginary friend will hardly *ever* talk solely about her kids. Oh and? She would love to sit and giggle over an intimate glass of wine.

And I have a funny feeling she isn’t the type of gal to wear this:


But she might wear this:


More fodder for the breast-feeders to hate me today at Babble


16 Responses to “Imaginary Best Friend”

  1. August 23, 2007 at 9:13 pm

    And …

    8.) Makes a mean margarita.

  2. August 23, 2007 at 9:54 pm

    Where can I sign up?
    I have a whole list of imaginary girlfriends myself. Except I haven’t met them yet – only read them on the fabulous world wide web. Sometimes I feel limited by my family members because a)they don’t like it when I swear, b)they’re not comfortable with my new interest in wine and girly drinks, and c)they don’t understand why I like working AND being a mom.
    References on the shoes and books are available upon request.

  3. 3 karainmd
    August 23, 2007 at 11:45 pm

    good luck…the swearing thing always gets me in trouble.

  4. August 24, 2007 at 12:06 am

    If only Bossy were there… she’d buy the first round.

  5. August 24, 2007 at 1:51 am

    Sounds like my new neighbor.

    🙂 Move to ATL.

  6. August 24, 2007 at 2:42 am

    Swearing and sex talks? My favorites!! Will you share your friend when you find her?

  7. August 24, 2007 at 3:43 am

    I loved this post. I’ve been tempted to take out an ad for a kindred spirit, because honestly, many of the moms I meet in real life suck. It sounds like we are searching for the same person. Let me know if you find her.

  8. August 24, 2007 at 12:01 pm

    Oddly, becoming a mom has made me more forgiving and generous towards women than I was before. It’s so strange, but good I think, for me. (Cuz I was an evile beeyotch.)

  9. August 24, 2007 at 2:53 pm

    Well, I always talk about sex, (whether I’m getting any or not), I’d rock that bathing suit with my pasty white thighs, I just cracked a nice merlot last night and the librarian loves me. I think I’ve got the list covered.

    (Oh and you should see the things I do with a whip while wearing my killer heels…)

    Wink, wink.

    I hope you meet a great girlfriend. May she put all the other fucktwits to shame and brighten your school experience.

    Cuz you’ll always have me, darlin. And I’m not insecure. I’ll share.


  10. August 25, 2007 at 12:49 am

    I belong to a Mom’s group, but I feel like I have to curb my swearing, not talk about the randy bout of screwing my husband and I had the night before, nor discuss politics. It’s always good manners over a bit of hummus and crackers, which is fine, but it leaves me longing…

    They are generally a nice lot, truly, but even after making some headway, no one is best friend material.

    Long story short, I hope you can find a kindred spirit! She’s got to be out there somewhere!

  11. August 25, 2007 at 7:10 pm

    I believe that mom-friendships ebb and flow more than any others! I’m in a sink-hole right now truly preferring my online friends to my friends IRL, isn’t that sad? My imaginary friend hates to exercise, loves coffee and is a writer. If she’s married she doesn’t always talk about her husband. That gets really old when you’re a single mother.

  12. August 25, 2007 at 8:03 pm

    And where would one get that little polka-dot thing? That is freakin’ adorable.

    I wish I could find as many great women IRL as I do around the blogs. But I am sure that if I got off the computer for a while, I might find one or two. 😉

  13. August 27, 2007 at 4:00 pm

    “And my imaginary friend will hardly *ever* talk solely about her kids.” is it possible? I’d like to think it’s possible… but hard experience seems to prove this magical woman that you describe to be a VERY RARE creature.

  14. August 27, 2007 at 9:56 pm

    Other than the shoes, I’m good in all categories required and I hope the fact that I still find time to ride my motorcycle makes up for the shoes thingey.
    I’ll bring the wine!

  15. August 27, 2007 at 10:03 pm

    Yah….from the looks of the little open house they did in the spring….I should have been an ESL family…then I would look forward to making LOADS of friends.

    The one mom I was HOPING would be there has decided to be a snob and send her kid to French Immersion.

    I don’t think ANY of his pre school buddies are going there.

    At least I like my daycare parent and the boys get along.

    Instead it will make me all tense and weird ……pretty much how I felt thoughout school.

  16. 16 dorojm
    August 30, 2007 at 1:14 pm

    You should join us at cheerleading (yes, cheerleading..signed her up for the gymnastics part of it but they don’t do that so much when your nine, just learn to shake your hips and such) but so far our conversations have run from drink recipes, who’s bringing the drinks and valium so we can make it thru another practice, vibrators and updates on the lesbian sex triangle fiasco. It’s the only thing that gets me thru practice four nights a week. We are “those moms”. Where did you find the first picture btw? Reminds me of the mennonite girls’ outfits from where we used to live.

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