10
Jun
07

Tantrum Zen

angry-jo.jpg

Tantrums are an opportunity to find the depth of patience and love and failing that, a sweet secret quiet place to hide while the storm passes. If one were a zen monk, perhaps some cross-legged chanting would do the trick. If one were a sanctimommy, perhaps a good “use words!” discussion would ensue. If one were a grandparent, long long since well rested, vacationed, and slept, one would laugh it all away.

But alas, CrankMama is neither a monk, nor a sanctimommy, and certainly not a grandparent.

At best, the impact of a tantrum on the nervous systems of adults in my house is similar to the visceral gut punch of listening to George Bush talk about the Iraq War: It just ain’t right.

You know that old saw about a premature explicator repeating in his mind “dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies”? Well, a similar (if perhaps not as effective) mantra is: “She’s a puddin’, she’s a puddin’, she’s a puddin'”

And when the three of them are Stalin and my ass is thrown in the Gulag, I simply concentrate on them as babies. And think of how darling and precious they were. Back then before they could sass.

Sometimes this operation is more successful than others.

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13 Responses to “Tantrum Zen”


  1. June 10, 2007 at 11:13 pm

    just sit quietly and om. ooommmmm

  2. 2 karrie
    June 11, 2007 at 5:20 am

    Sometimes it requires taking that bottle of wine and hiding in the bathroom until the storm passes.

  3. June 11, 2007 at 9:05 am

    Just this weekend, Thalia was frustrated about something and kicked a chair. Enter the tantrum phase.

    Mind if I have this post tattooed somewhere on my body?

  4. June 11, 2007 at 12:44 pm

    Oh, it’s so hard to find that Tantrum Zen somedays…

  5. June 11, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    I wish I could say my kids don’t throw tantrums anymore. But then I’d be lying to ya.

    I have tried to sell them on Ebay a few times, but I haven’t had any takers…

  6. June 11, 2007 at 5:04 pm

    My tantrum zen is better known as tequilla zen. Works like a charm!

  7. June 11, 2007 at 7:44 pm

    Mine are not even a year yet and I’ve got the “fling myself down SOBBING because the world is going to end” thing going on. “She’s a puddin’, she’s a puddin’, she’s a puddin'”

    And pass the mojito.

  8. June 11, 2007 at 11:41 pm

    truly you must have achieved spiritual oneness with the universe to be able to find that happy place in such trying circumstances. i was always tempted to sell my two on ebay …

  9. June 12, 2007 at 8:00 am

    Tantrum Zen? Where is this world of which you speak?

  10. June 12, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    There’s a book title! Tantrum Tantra…

    What works for this old soul is to put both of us in “Time Out.” We don’t use them as punishment – we use them as time to cool off. Chill. Count to zen.

    Then we get back together and throw more tantrums.

  11. June 14, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    Snort chuckle choke guffaw!

  12. June 14, 2007 at 8:18 pm

    I’m with ya on tantrum zen. I also find making my daughter laugh is a real tantrum ender, as well. For my two year old (on Sunday) who is just now entering the realm of irrationality in the form of a tantrum, well, I just have to walk away because nothing works with him.

  13. June 15, 2007 at 3:06 am

    Sass is the price you pay for having your girls grow up with the fierce independence of spirit that is going to make you so proud of them later.


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