Tantrum Zen


Tantrums are an opportunity to find the depth of patience and love and failing that, a sweet secret quiet place to hide while the storm passes. If one were a zen monk, perhaps some cross-legged chanting would do the trick. If one were a sanctimommy, perhaps a good “use words!” discussion would ensue. If one were a grandparent, long long since well rested, vacationed, and slept, one would laugh it all away.

But alas, CrankMama is neither a monk, nor a sanctimommy, and certainly not a grandparent.

At best, the impact of a tantrum on the nervous systems of adults in my house is similar to the visceral gut punch of listening to George Bush talk about the Iraq War: It just ain’t right.

You know that old saw about a premature explicator repeating in his mind “dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies”? Well, a similar (if perhaps not as effective) mantra is: “She’s a puddin’, she’s a puddin’, she’s a puddin'”

And when the three of them are Stalin and my ass is thrown in the Gulag, I simply concentrate on them as babies. And think of how darling and precious they were. Back then before they could sass.

Sometimes this operation is more successful than others.


13 Responses to “Tantrum Zen”

  1. June 10, 2007 at 11:13 pm

    just sit quietly and om. ooommmmm

  2. 2 karrie
    June 11, 2007 at 5:20 am

    Sometimes it requires taking that bottle of wine and hiding in the bathroom until the storm passes.

  3. June 11, 2007 at 9:05 am

    Just this weekend, Thalia was frustrated about something and kicked a chair. Enter the tantrum phase.

    Mind if I have this post tattooed somewhere on my body?

  4. June 11, 2007 at 12:44 pm

    Oh, it’s so hard to find that Tantrum Zen somedays…

  5. June 11, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    I wish I could say my kids don’t throw tantrums anymore. But then I’d be lying to ya.

    I have tried to sell them on Ebay a few times, but I haven’t had any takers…

  6. June 11, 2007 at 5:04 pm

    My tantrum zen is better known as tequilla zen. Works like a charm!

  7. June 11, 2007 at 7:44 pm

    Mine are not even a year yet and I’ve got the “fling myself down SOBBING because the world is going to end” thing going on. “She’s a puddin’, she’s a puddin’, she’s a puddin'”

    And pass the mojito.

  8. June 11, 2007 at 11:41 pm

    truly you must have achieved spiritual oneness with the universe to be able to find that happy place in such trying circumstances. i was always tempted to sell my two on ebay …

  9. June 12, 2007 at 8:00 am

    Tantrum Zen? Where is this world of which you speak?

  10. June 12, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    There’s a book title! Tantrum Tantra…

    What works for this old soul is to put both of us in “Time Out.” We don’t use them as punishment – we use them as time to cool off. Chill. Count to zen.

    Then we get back together and throw more tantrums.

  11. June 14, 2007 at 12:48 pm

    Snort chuckle choke guffaw!

  12. June 14, 2007 at 8:18 pm

    I’m with ya on tantrum zen. I also find making my daughter laugh is a real tantrum ender, as well. For my two year old (on Sunday) who is just now entering the realm of irrationality in the form of a tantrum, well, I just have to walk away because nothing works with him.

  13. June 15, 2007 at 3:06 am

    Sass is the price you pay for having your girls grow up with the fierce independence of spirit that is going to make you so proud of them later.

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