For any of the nice ladies who occasionally send me emails asking if I want to set up a playdate or play group for our kids, I’ve created a nice handy list of the types of playdates that I revel in.
I will gladly attend a play group or play date in which any of the following topics are discussed in depth:
1. Lesbian tantra weekends – what you learned, how straight women and their husbands can benefit from your education.
2. Drink recipes – which drinks you find most effective for killing mommy blahs.
3. Shoes – why you love them, where you buy them, the width, depth, and breadth of your collection.
4. Sex life – your methods for having fabulous lovin every day in your boudoir temple of love.
5. Trips you are planning to take without kids – cruises, weekend trips down highway 101 for wine tasting, even an overnight at a hotel. I’m all ears.
6. Humorous birth stories – nothing gory here, ladies, just funny tales of epidurals and laughing nurses, something involving you having the last laugh.
7. Politics – I will debate and discuss politics of any flavor, kind, political persuasion. Just be smart and quick about it, and I’ll be all yours.
8. Books – I will discuss any and all books as long as they are not on Oprah’s book list and as long as they are not authored by anyone with the last name Grisham or Collins.
9. Passion – I will discuss any old thing you’re passionate about as long as you’re, well, passionate about it. Gesticulations and yelling welcome.
That pretty much sums it up. Oh, and if you are going to bring your kids along, would you please make sure they are not the topic of conversation and that they don’t interrupt our fascinating conversation every two seconds? Don’t have kids at all? So much the better!!