Always with the Sex and the Marriage and the Children

So I read “Babyproofing Your Marriage” and was thrilled to find that it wasn’t another vanilla bullshit schlocky treatment of the complicated issues involved in bravely trying to maintain a marriage while shepherding 800 small children through the universe. They confidently spew “ass” this and “hell” that and I suspected they were therefore at least partially my people.

And then. It occurs to me to try out some of their keen marital strengthening exercises which are discussed more in depth here… and now I feel discouraged and disheartened. It doesn’t help that I was going to have a Mommy Alone Time Weekend (another tip from the book) and visit cute mellifluous voiced Paige and attend a rocking writing seminar and then I find out that I can’t.

And suddenly I can find neither hide nor hairless spec of my past sexual sensual sinful rocking girl self. All I can think is “What happened?” I used to be all equipment this, and new tricky book that, and now I’m more like “Ok, I guess, dear” and “I’m just way too tired.”

And I wish I was calm and mature and accepting instead of loud, sweary, and kicky. I wish for grace and serenity, instead of a bloodstream full of opinions, ideas, and pepper.


10 Responses to “Always with the Sex and the Marriage and the Children”

  1. February 9, 2007 at 5:54 pm

    Cranky…you need to crack open the wine my dear. Alcohol is the solution to absolutely everything. And when you’re sozzled, we need to think about the topic for our radio show.

  2. February 9, 2007 at 6:06 pm

    Mellifluous voice? Really?

    I thought it was more riddled with phlegm than anything.

    Anyway, the writers seminar will be there and so will I. We just have to find you another weekend where you can come out here so we can paint the town all sorts of ugly colors.

    Mmmmhmmm, girl.

  3. February 10, 2007 at 7:55 am

    Do NOT go quietly! I, myself, am desperately trying to fight every step of the way! I told Paige I am so jealous that she keeps getting to meet all the cool blog chicks! If you do get to go, you need to talk to me so I can give you some good scoop on Paige. You could use it as blackmail to bend her to your every whim! (We’re talking COLLEGE stories!) hee-hee

  4. February 10, 2007 at 8:01 am

    You need a weekend off, my friend. Give the kids to your husband and tell him he is on his own with them for a couple of days, and do something for yourself.

    Trite, I know… but you need it.

  5. February 10, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    Sometimes I have to think about IT all day long to, you know, psych myself up for it. (Bow chicka bow bow!)

  6. February 10, 2007 at 1:54 pm

    You’ll get your groove back my friend! It does sound like you need a little ‘You’ time, so even if you can’t go to the conference, maybe you can take some time out for a massage, followed by a few glasses of champagne with a friend (or even your husband!) to get you into the mood.

    And don’t forget your red lipstick and tall boots. I know you feel good in both!

  7. February 10, 2007 at 3:44 pm

    This Queen of the Mayhem broad, let’s just say I have about as many stories about her (IF NOT MORE) as she does me. If the Queen were at all smart, she would not make like Napoleon and go there, if you catch my drift, because I got some brutal winter coupled with a bunch of ka-boom waiting for her in retaliation…


  8. February 10, 2007 at 8:39 pm

    I’m better now… Thanks for the support. Sometiems I just have to put the “Crank” back in “crankMama”

  9. 9 karrie
    February 11, 2007 at 10:44 am

    Hey at least you’re trying. More than I can say for myself. I’m in the lost-it-and- can’t-be bothered to find it category.

    Although a Mommy Alone Time weekend sure wouldn’t hurt!

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