Do you have a child that is harder for you to understand than your others? I do and she is one half of the dynamic twin duo. J is the one that has me rushing back to my Touchpoints books, praying to God, ulcerating my worry bone, and generally fretting my way into gray hair. And she’s many many years yet away from driving a car or dating a boy (or a girl). She is arguably the least happy of my kids and I waffle between accepting the trick of temperament by birth and wanting to see her smile deeply 10 hours a day.
She is most likely to get into a fray with other children and sometimes has a mean streak. She is one child that seems to have been born into this world as an old soul, but not an old peaceful zen soul, an old grumpy cynical one. Sometimes she looks at me like she were a 16 year old and I just took away her car keys. In fact, she’s 5 and I’ve just refused to allow her to watch “Dora.”
Before bed, J is thoughtful and quiet and occasionally shares her fears and dreams with me. They are dreams of candy and swim class and grandmas, but her fears, they are disturbing and involve people dying and leaving her. Even if these are (according to my reading) somewhat common for her age, they are disturbing thoughts to hear your cherub utter in the dark.
Sometimes I feel that I’ve been given J, a human puzzle, to keep me sharp and on my toes. If I can love her more and help her feel happier and more secure, no other success will ever mean as much to me.