11
Dec
06

Your Hands Are My Hands…

You… Both of you… are five today. You were born five years ago at 7:30pm and 7:40pm respectively. Olivia, older by 10 minutes, and then Josephine. Because you were small but healthy (5 pounds and change) you were my little “bobsledders” whose birth belied all the horror stories I read. It wasn’t until 3 1/2 years later and big-headed Violet came along that I understood the true religious importance of having a good anesthesiologist.

But I digress…

My little twinbugs. You are wondrous and exhausting and inspiring… I’ve never felt so much for so few. You are your own individuals. Proud, strong, emotional, demanding, lovely, intelligent.

And because the vigorous beauty of all the words aren’t spoken well by me, I’ll quote instead my favorite poet Pablo Neruda, who surely wrote this poem for you — from me.

I do not love you… by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Love,
Mama

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15 Responses to “Your Hands Are My Hands…”


  1. December 11, 2006 at 3:01 am

    happy birthday, girls! (and well done, crank). yes, we are both twin mothers – fantastic, isn’t it? every child should be a twin, i reckon. mine are 12, boy and girl – i’ll send you a pic, if i can manage the technology (doubtful). we should talk …
    have a wonderful day

    (oh and that poem, which i didn’t know before, is so exquisite, i brought me up in lumpy bumps of pure emotion – thanks! I’ll print it out at once)
    m

  2. December 11, 2006 at 6:26 am

    Happy Birthday! Time goes quickly, enjoy your little
    ones. Before you know it they will be off to
    college.

    Next time you post such a beautiful poem you better
    post a NSFW (Not Safe For Work) tag. People in the
    financial markets get very nervous when they see
    someone cry. People are currently asking how many
    million dollars I lost today….

    Oh, by the way. Like the new design but there is
    something wrong with the comment boxes. There is no
    word-wrap so I have to keep hitting return constantly.

    using XP Pro, and FF

    Nice weak ahead

    AD

  3. 3 bec
    December 11, 2006 at 6:35 am

    Happy twin birthday! We must go offline again to talk about how you manage the order of proceedings for birthday cakes and so on. this year was our twins’ first big birthday party and some of it we just had to wing…

    By the way, my epidurals worked too, both for the single and the double. And while I’m on the birth theme, my twins were 7lb 2oz and 6lb 12oz respectively. At 37 weeks. If I’d let them go full term I swear they’d have been 9lb a piece!

  4. 4 bec
    December 11, 2006 at 6:37 am

    And by ‘first big birthday’ I mean they turned four. It took us that long to get organised to have a proper party. Poor little buggers.

    the elder single baby does better…

  5. December 11, 2006 at 6:50 am

    Happy Birthday, children!

    Good on you, too, CrankMama!

    Go’d blessings and peace upon all of you.

  6. 6 Meg
    December 11, 2006 at 7:06 am

    Happy happy and I love the new site!

  7. December 11, 2006 at 8:09 am

    Happy Birthday!
    Happy Birthday!

    I love the comment about true religion! Thank goodness I’m home because I agree with the NSFW – just a beautiful touching poem. Enjoy the day!

  8. 8 deb
    December 11, 2006 at 9:07 am

    Wow, that poem is powerful, thank you. And happy birthday to your beautiful girls.

  9. December 11, 2006 at 10:46 am

    Hi Folks,
    Glad you like. Jessica is a design genius, no?

    Love,
    Rachael

  10. December 11, 2006 at 10:52 am

    Very nice!
    Happy Birthday girls-

  11. December 11, 2006 at 12:06 pm

    Lovely job, Crank.

    I like me some Neruda too (which is probably another reason why I like you). Read this exact poem at my wedding, as a matter of fact.

  12. December 11, 2006 at 4:10 pm

    happy happy birthday girls!!!
    I LOOOOVE Pablo Neruda. and this reminds me that I can’t believe my sons are going to be five in 2 months!!!

    nice new design!

  13. December 12, 2006 at 10:35 am

    Love, love, LOVE the new page! I also love that poem. You made me cry at work, damn you.

    Happy (Late) Birthday, twinlets!

  14. December 12, 2006 at 12:31 pm

    Happy Birthday Olivia and Josephine! I can’t believe you’re 5!

  15. December 12, 2006 at 6:26 pm

    Happy Birthday!! What a beautiful poem. It will be fun to meet the twins soon in person.


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