It’s Time for a Man Basket When…

Here’s a little tip from me to you.  Sometimes men are in need of extra special attention and loving care.  Sometimes they need it more than our kids and our girlfriends and the homeless guy on the street and our jobs and our mothers and everyone else clamoring for our love. The trouble is, they can’t ask for it. 

Unlike us, they don’t have a hatful of pals sitting around saying things to them like "You tell her SHE should cook dinner and watch the kids once in awhile and see how SHE likes it!" with a chorus of "Yeahs" backing them up.  At best, they get to watch sports and talk about cars and at times like these, even the newest Porsche magazine picture isn’t bringing the joy it should.

Here are some helpful little hints that may indicate that the man in your life is in need of a LOVE TUNE UP:
1. Evidence Type: Conversational

You:  "I’m thinking we should have spaghetti for dinner.  What do you think?"
Him: "Speaking of sex, how about it?"
You: "Are you mad at me about something?"
Him: *silence*
You: "Is something going on at work?"
Him: *sulk*
You: "C’mon, honey, you can talk to me."
Him: "It wouldn’t hurt you to pay some attention to me once in awhile."
You: *guilty silence*

2. Evidence Type: Behavioral

Signs that the man in your life may need some extra attention include the following:

  • poor wardrobe choices
  • uneven sideburns
  • wild nose hair, and/or
  • extremely long morning showers coupled with uneven personal hygiene

Ratio of naps to awake time 2/1

Extended instant messaging conversations with people at work

3. Evidence Type: Fun.  Is He Having Any?

Actually, no evidence needed for this one.  We all know what he’s like when he’s not having any… fun.  He’s cranky, doctrinaire, rigid about which knives go in which drawer, and a little more strict with the kids.

Here’s where the man basket comes in.  You know ALL about the woman basket (the spa stuff, the scented soaps, the pretty expensive hair goo), but did you know that you can easily assemble a loving man basket that he’ll truly adore?

Here are some suggested items:

  • Ticket to any man movie of his choosing (no matter how gorey, violent, or odd)
  • An esoteric expensive tool or high tech item for his IPod
  • A certificate for an overnight at a hotel with any other little promises you’d like to include
  • A few Sundays to himself to do anything he wants
  • Did I mention free time?

Operation Man Basket is starting in earnest at the CrankMama homestead so I’ll keep you posted…


14 Responses to “It’s Time for a Man Basket When…”

  1. December 5, 2006 at 8:06 am

    Wow, that was the funniest post I have read in a long time. I think I should start a basket too.

  2. December 5, 2006 at 8:23 am

    IMHO and this may be controversial, men don’t seem to need attention, conversation etc. They just need sex, delivered on a regular basis (they need to know on what day they are getting it) at least once a week. Solves every bit of tension in my house lol. But a lot of your men may be more evolved, I dunno.

  3. December 5, 2006 at 4:00 pm

    One wonders how one sticks uninterrupted Monday Night Football in a basket?

  4. December 5, 2006 at 6:49 pm

    This is really a very sweet idea and a much needed reminder. But…

    “extremely long morning showers coupled with uneven personal hygiene”

    I actually snorted at this, I was laughed so hard. You are too funny!

  5. December 5, 2006 at 11:49 pm

    Cracking up here..!
    “hatful of pals sitting around”

  6. December 6, 2006 at 1:33 am

    Good advice although I think it’s more often the women who need to be pampered since they usually take care of the kids. Of course most men are stupid idiots and don’t realize that staying home with small children is 5 times as hard as going to work. I’ve tried it so I know kind of what I’m talking about. My job is still ten times more stressful than any other job I know but it’s still a picnic compared to the energy required to spend 24 hours with a small child.

    My favorite thing to give to my wife, and her to me , is free time. She loves to go to the gym, go shopping, or hang out with friends. Free time without kids is the problem I see couples have most often. It can drive a person crazy not to have a little time for personal things.

    Our frequency for fun activities for fun in the sack has been low for more months than I can remember but i don’t expect anything else since we had a baby a few months ago. Expecting anything else would be naive of me.

  7. 8 bec
    December 6, 2006 at 4:16 am

    so funny! That ratio of naps to awake time? Such a give away in our house!!

    Good luck with fitting all your goodies in that basket – hope the ribbon stays on!

  8. December 6, 2006 at 5:36 am

    The title alone is cracking my ass up. Operation Man Basket. Hee!

  9. December 6, 2006 at 6:35 pm

    Hang on … women aren’t supposed to understand us this well. My sex’s entire strategy is based on our inscrutability.

    Men! Back to the bunker … we have some thinking to do.

  10. December 6, 2006 at 7:27 pm

    My boyfriend is constantly asking me to show him more attention and affection. I really need to do that one of these days…

  11. December 7, 2006 at 9:44 am

    Great post! Man basket. tehe

  12. December 8, 2006 at 6:52 am

    Hell yes we need attention too. Heck, sometimes I bet Men are worse then kids, since I can only guess not having any kids. But when I’m neglected and I dont mean in the physical sense, im a bear

  13. December 11, 2006 at 7:07 am

    Absolutely, one hundred percent, SPOT-ON!

    Damn, you’re smart.

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