Darlng O (oldest twin by 10 minutes ) has skin like sugary pudding, a chipped tooth from when she tried to eat a rock (bad mommy) at 18 months, a devilish expression, and a new "I can do what I want" and "I’m going to say things to shock you into silence" defiance that has me reading about developmental stages again.
There is always this freefall of despair when I realize that their kidness has exceeded my momness by quite a distance. It often takes awhile to regroup, Mom up, and find the wherewithal to get on with parenting and being in charge and quit with the cowering in the corner and being afraid of my own kids.
When I’m doubting my ability to overcome whatever wrench has been thrown into the works (hour-long tantrums, hitting, crying, etc. etc. etc.), everyone feels it. The kids can tell I don’t know what the hell to do, so they act accordingly. And it’s hellish and horrid. When I compare myself to the craftmaking, teach your children Spanish, enroll in every toddler playclass known to man, moms, it never ends well.
But if I stop first and ask what I bring to parenting (well, to anything) that is unique, things usually look up.
In honor of O who just yesterday informed me that she "would never listen [to me] again," here’s what I got:
-love of reading
-occasional brilliant patience
-did I mention silly yet?
So, sisters and brothers, what YOU got?
P.S. As I write this, my husband is (actively) suffering from stomach flu, J has a sore throat and cough, and O just woke up crying for water. I decided it was wiser for me to just stay up then to suffer under the illusion that I’d get any sleep at all.