06
Nov
06

Yours? Mine? Ours?

Dear V,
You are an adorable cherub whose blond and blue can melt even the crankiest of mommies into a pile of adoring goo.  You are verbal, precocious, and enjoy dumping drawers onto the floor, tipping books from bookshelves, and knocking over any and all objects filled with liquids or food.

Violet_running_with_a_devilish_grin But there’s something else unique about you, my darling.  Something that sets you apart from your older twin sisters. 

You still have a desire for "the Boob."  Actually, less like "desire" more like "obsession."  And I, who with great righteousness used to make them laugh with my confident jokes about women trapped by nursing, am facing my darkest motherhood fear: being grasped and undressed in public by a loud child screaming "BOOB! BOOB!" 

Like a hunter finds her prey, you spy me across the room, your laser-vision narrows, and your little chubby legs blast you across the distance that divides us. I am scaled like a human ladder and, having scooped you up, try and distract you with something else.  Anything. Else.

I admit, I went so far as to try and sell Daddy’s warm hairy chest (nipples even) as a nice alternative.  But nothing but the Boob will do.

So, I’m afraid it will have to be cold turkey around here.  For you and for me.  No more boob.  Mommy is so very tired and worn.  And I love you, but I need these ladies back. 

And as you’ve learned to say recently… they are MINE! MINE! MINE!!

Advertisements

12 Responses to “Yours? Mine? Ours?”


  1. November 5, 2006 at 1:02 pm

    I have a cousin who breast fed one of her children until he was 3. Good luck with detachment exercises!

  2. November 5, 2006 at 1:41 pm

    Good idea, but how exactly are you going to do it.? A friend of mine stuck Band-Aids over her nipples for weeks, saying they were broken, that worked. Another friend put that stuff which in England is called Stop
    N Grow (for stopping nail biting) on her boobies, the child was so repulsed by the peppery taste he never craved boob again.

  3. November 5, 2006 at 1:42 pm

    Good idea, but how exactly are you going to do it? A friend of mine stuck Band-Aids over her nipples for weeks, saying they were broken, that worked. Another friend put that stuff in whihc, in the uk is called Stop
    N Grow (for stopping nail biting) on her boobies, the child was so repulsed by the peppery taste he never craved boob again.

  4. November 5, 2006 at 1:47 pm

    Oh, best of luck to you! I had to wean my daughter off rather early due to a kidney stone. One weekend spent on morphine and the poor thing was made to go cold turkey with no warning. I think she needed the morphine more than me towards the end. But, eventually it is a hump they all get over!

  5. November 5, 2006 at 2:43 pm

    oh my god.

    may you have the strength and merlot required to get you through this.

    hugs and kisses,
    p

  6. November 5, 2006 at 4:06 pm

    Oh, CM … I must say, that is a sweet description of her desire for you, I mean, your body part!

    As an adoptive mom, poor R. never even had a chance at the Boob. And now, as a six-year-old, she is fascinated with mine and wants to cuddle with me just to gain access to being next to them!

    I have a feeling that, even without up-close-and-personal contact with “the B,” she’ll still find a way to make her interest known!

  7. November 5, 2006 at 4:48 pm

    The band-aids idea is hilarious! Good luck, girl.

  8. November 5, 2006 at 7:18 pm

    There was a lady on Dr. Phil last week who had an 8 year old that was still breastfed. Order a tape of that show and you’ll have no problem weaning …

    Anyway, good luck to you. I hope it’s not too hard on your boobies, but stock up on the cabbage leaves just in case.

  9. November 5, 2006 at 7:51 pm

    Wow girlfriend. I lasted all of about FOUR days and then I had to quit breastfeeding for the sake of my sanity and my son’s health. Even if it had worked out, I don’t know if we would’ve made it past a year.

    I am imfuckingpressed!!

  10. November 5, 2006 at 8:22 pm

    Jody – until 3? Good fucking lord that’s a long while!

    Dear em- as usual, your semi-pervy band-aid solution is the most promising.

    momish – I know it’s sick, but I long for a sickness solution… for now, all I have is “Sorry Viv, boobs go bye bye”…

    Paigey doll,
    It’s sauv blanc, but thanks for the good wishes babe

    Mrs. Fort –
    Thank GOD for cabbage leaves (another of the million things I never knew I’d say)

    Andie darlin’-
    Don’t be impressed… I’ve been afraid of weaning that’s all…

  11. November 5, 2006 at 9:08 pm

    I’m actually jealous. I’m nursing my last baby. She’s 10 months old and starting to refuse the breast. I’ve had four babies and I couldn’t keep any of them interested past a year. What’s the secret?

  12. November 5, 2006 at 10:41 pm

    Yelling “Boob!” “Boob!”. Hmmmm, reminds me of my High School years. And College…

    O.K, and my adult years too.

    My wife stopped around 7 months and pumped for another 4-5. She was hurting after awhile. I can’t imagine that kind of pressure on my ‘nickels’ (it hurts just thinking about it)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: