16
Sep
06

My New Hero

There is a woman who’s written a book called "Girl with a One Track Mind" and she’s interviewed by Sharon Osborne (of all people).  In one fell swoop, she’s done away with assumptions about women and sexuality.  And for that, she’s my new hero.

Her blog is here.

Happy reading! 

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8 Responses to “My New Hero”


  1. September 16, 2006 at 11:23 am

    I remember when she was
    “Outed” last month. I was really upset for her, but it seems like she is just making the best of it.

  2. September 17, 2006 at 2:32 am

    Here I go again, playing devil’s advocate!! I do read her blog sometimes. She has a very good writing style, but what I don’t really get is why she is SO popular. In the Sharon Osbourne interview Abby acts like it is a radical political act to be highly sexed. I just don’t get why that should be …I mean, is there anyone out there (apart from Howard Stern listeners) who still categorizes women into good girls and whores? I think she’s a good writer, I just don’t think that saying she likes to have sex a lot, mainly with Zipless Fuckbuddies, is all that radical. We’ve all done it at one time of our lives, haven’t we? Get’s old pretty fast though…

  3. September 17, 2006 at 9:33 am

    I think there are people who still categorize women as virgins and whores… and I think double-standards are still incredibly powerful vis a vis women and sexuality.. especially women once they become purified by motherhood. Perhaps you live in a forward-thinking urban environment… Outside of those few, I don’t find views about women and sex particularly progressive. And I think her popularity is evidence that it is still a radical act to be a woman and state that you like sex.

  4. September 17, 2006 at 1:20 pm

    This is actually a topic I find fascinating from a sociological standpoint. A lot of women view sexuality as a feminist issue, but there lies the dichotomy of feminism. On one hand, there is a prevailing attitude amongst young girls today that sexuality is a power play, commercial and a way to get what they want while traditional feminism advocates for more indistinguishable comparison between how men and women view sex. Personally, I think men and women are different and experience and respond to sex differently. What I don’t get is why on earth that should offend anyone as I assume it would the author in this interview.

    Now, some might think that I am setting the feminist movement behind by suggesting that men and women respond to sex differently (from an emotional perspective), but I disagree. I love being feminine, I love looking good, I love it when my husband thinks I look sexy. I love beauty. While beauty is in the eye of the beholder, its appreciation is like that of a painting or sculpture. It’s admiration.

    Where we have seen progress is in how society doesn’t discriminate against those who they might deem without sexual integrity (i.e.; slut). It’s not perfectly acceptable to call both men and women that unflattering adjective.

    Bottom line, although it may not be revolutionary, I do think that women have a unique sense of sensuality that men don’t and there is certainly nothing wrong with women enjoying, talking and using their femininity to celebrate that fact.

  5. September 17, 2006 at 2:12 pm

    Oops, I meant to say, “It’s perfectly acceptable to call both men and women that unflattering adjective.”

  6. September 17, 2006 at 2:32 pm

    Jessica,
    I think you’re right. Men and women are different sexually/ sensually and I don’t think the traditional feminists did us any favors getting women to act more like men. However, there is a range to sexual expression and I’d argue that women are usually stereotyped as falling in one end of the range, while men are stereotyped as falling into the other. And while men and women might both be called “sluts” now.. I think the word is more punishing for women.

  7. September 17, 2006 at 6:45 pm

    Ok, I read a bit and what I like best about her so far? She had the courage to take care of herself in that guys’ bed after he so rudely rejected her advances. Priceless!

  8. 8 Michelle
    September 18, 2006 at 6:07 am

    Hi,

    This is interesting, and I’m always up for a juicy bit of sex-writing, so I’ll probably get the book, but I’m also not sure what all the fuss is about.

    I did live in NYC for 8 years where this voice certainly wouldn’t have been revolutionary, but now I live in an Italian Catholic Rhode Island suburb and find myself having more randy exchanges with the women/mothers on my block and in my community than I would have thought possible before. Recent cases in point. In my son’s karate school the 30-to-40-something women routinely giggle and titter and talk dirty about the hot 20 year-old instructor (and he is HOT). Just last week when I jokingly insinuated that my neighbor’s 3rd, blonde-blue-eyed child might have come from somewhere else…she laughed and yelled across the street, “I wish, Michelle, I wish!” And these are women I’m merely acquaintances with!

    In my personal experience, I never encountered a man who had an issue with my sexuality as being too “aggressive” nor did I hear a lot of conversation about sexual women being “sluts.” Yes it exists, but it all seems pretty outdated when you hear about it, not the perspective of the masses. Yeah, the virgin/whore dichotomy still lives, but feels increasingly marginalized to specific subcultures.

    I think mainstream media has done a lot over the past decade to provide women with a voice as a sexual being, from Candace Bushnell, to Sex and the City, to mothers in Desperate Housewives–Sometimes I think to the extent that the pendulum may have swung too far the other way (thinking of the latest around teens and sex, but that is another conversation.)

    And on the mother=non-sexual thing, I think that many mothers desexualize themselves after having children more than men do. My experience with my mother friends is that their men would LOVE them to put more energy into sex, and are frankly thrilled when they do so.

    This is a great conversation! Thanks for the post.


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