The Tyranny of the Fairy Person

My twin daughters attend preschool for 2.5 hours 3 days each week.  As a newly unemployed stay-at-home-against-her-will mom (SAHAHWM), these brief hours of solitude are treasured, but they tend to fly by in a wink.  As a result, I don’t want to waste them on anything productive like showering, cleaning, answering the phone, picking up toys, or exercising.  I do want to spend them writing, reading, or swearing loudly to myself just because I can. 

Earlier,  I came up with the brilliant idea to tell the twins that while they were at preschool a magical fairy person made them a special lunch.  They got so excited that they bounced up and down in their booster seats.  When they got home and saw the table laid out with food, they gobbled everything up including the carrots without one complaint. 

Unfortunately, when I pick them up from preschool these days, if I ever have the nerve to say  "no the fairy person didn’t come today because she had some important reading to catch up on" a huge double preschooler car breakdown ensues.  So now, I have to make a big deal of the goddamn fairy person making the lunch.  Worse still, I have to get the lunch made before I even leave to pick them up which takes more coins from my sad little alone time jar.


I know I’m living in Crazy Mommy World and I shouldn’t let them push me around.  I know that as a formerly single mama I sometimes give in to their bullying more than I should.

But the truth is, I’d rather submit to the tyranny of the fairy person than have to sit through another car tantrum in stereo.




7 Responses to “The Tyranny of the Fairy Person”

  1. September 14, 2006 at 11:38 am

    Tell them that the Fairy Person was phased out due to cutbacks.

    Twins, Eh?

    I’m a twin. I’ll spare you the stories.


  2. September 14, 2006 at 6:16 pm

    You’re outnumbered. Are you crazy? As much as keeping the peace is so alluring and addictive in the beginning, it’s like cocaine, it eats through your nose and then you wind up looking like a crack-whore when you’re finished. Take it from me, I’m lookin’ out for ya. I don’t have twins. No, it’s worse. I have BOYS.


  3. September 14, 2006 at 6:42 pm

    YOu’re right Jessica, keeping the peace IS addictive.. but more than that so is not having to listen to nails on a chalkboard screeching. I’m willing to fight about most things, but this one I’m giving ’em. But I am thankful every day I don’t have twin boyz. That would be death on a cracker. I have two brothers. I know the truth about boys.

  4. September 14, 2006 at 7:03 pm

    Ooh, you’ve started down a slippery slope. But I’ll pretty much give in to any demand to stop a double car tantrum, so I’m hardly one to talk!

  5. September 15, 2006 at 4:35 am

    I think the Magic Fairy Person should introduce your girls to The Little Red-Haired Girl (Wendy) or the Whole Foods prepared foods section/salad bar. Even Magic Fairies take vacations, catch colds, catch attitude.

    I hear you on those precious couple of hours flying by. My son goes 2 mornings a week, and it does only end up being a couple of hours once you factor in dropoff/pickup, etc.

  6. September 15, 2006 at 8:00 am

    I’m the same, I spoil mine rotten, but really, it’s no good letting them run the roost. Take a stand now. Tell them the Magic Fairy Person has gone on holiday, a long holiday, to Mars or something.

  7. 7 zippy
    September 17, 2006 at 10:27 am

    Been there too and here is my advice (for what it is worth). Tell them the next time that they have a meltdown in the car or anywhere else “the fairy person can hear everything you say and see everything you do. She does not like children who misbehave. If you continue acting this way, she will not come for a week.” (two weeks if you feel a need for a longer break). It worked every single time for me.

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