13
Sep
06

Would You? Could You?

1. Clothing That I’d Buy:

       Who Me Slutty? Dress

        Stick Leg Stilettos

        Longing Labia Lounge Pants

        Oppress Me Now Patriarchy Nylons

        Giggling Not Jiggling Girdle

2.  Magazines I’d Read. Over and Over.

        Russell Crowe’s Life As An Aussie Sportsman

        Tantric Yoga Sex Slaves

        Serial Shoe Shopper Delites

3. Exclamatory Sentences I’d Love to Use:

       I couldn’t POSSIBLY take the afternoon off!!

        Another job offer!

        Please stop telling me I’m stunning! It’s embarrassing!

        Free Shoes! Again!

4. Classes I Want to Take

       Dancing with Handsome Strangers

       Get Fit in 2 Minutes A Day

        How to Look 10 Years Younger by Drinking & Eating

        Fatty Foods

       Good Fortune & Good Luck:  It Can Be Yours with

        Hard Work and Determination

        Make Your Children Obey Without Crushing Their

        Spirits

      


       

   

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6 Responses to “Would You? Could You?”


  1. September 13, 2006 at 7:19 pm

    I like this list a whole lot more than my grocery list that I am putting off doing.

    Thanks for the break.

    Hey, I want to take that 2 minute fitness class with you. We could wear matching pink t-shirts that say, “Gym Hag” and then braid each others hair!

  2. September 14, 2006 at 1:45 am

    Thanks for visiting my blog earlier.

    So, Longing Labia Lounge Pants, eh? Where do I get a pair of those suckers? LOL

  3. September 14, 2006 at 3:39 am

    I’m having trouble relating to you as a blog personality. You write about wanting to wear slutty dresses, and then I always see that really prim nineteen fifties photo of that Plathesque woman with the baby and the two images don’t gel. Obviously that isn’t you, unless you recently gave birth to your twins at 75, but if you don’t want to post your picture (who does?) which celeb do you resemble? If none, just give a composite: Demi Moore’s eyes, Kate Hudson’s smile, Michael Douglas’ chin dimple etc.

  4. September 14, 2006 at 5:01 am

    Does this mean you’d wear the labia pants with the oppressive nylons? And when you discover the book about how not to crush spirits, please blog about it!

    Thanks for dropping by my site too.

  5. September 14, 2006 at 8:35 am

    Emma,
    I use that picture of my grandma and mom as a filler while my fancy pants designer pal is putting together something much hipper and crankier. I’m posting another list later today that has a link to my *actual* pic. So then you can decide if you can truly relate. Thankfully I only *feel* 75.

  6. September 14, 2006 at 10:37 am

    “Make Your Children Obey Without Crushing Their Spirits”

    I think I saw that on an internet banner once. It costs like $4.99 and you get a free home refinance with it.


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