I Am The Job

I was raised in the 70s by a mother** who changed her name to Miranda for
awhile and engaged regularly in free self-expression and morning
drinking.  The upside of all this freedom from convention was that while
some of my suburban friends were busy driving around in BMWs and trying out for
cheer camp, I was encouraged to contemplate poverty and my role in applying my
"gifts" to ameliorate these and other societal ills.

All of this good will culminated in a final chapter that I never could have
predicted. I came to this last job with the usual jumble of hubris, hope, and
naivet?. It was my first executive director gig and while the struggling
nonprofit had a spotty financial history, I was determined to turn things
around.  For awhile my efforts seemed to work.  Some of the people
who couldn’t spell and were rude on the phone moved on to other opportunities,
while smarties skilled with people and Excel took their place.

Times were good and the work we were doing helping primarily low-income moms
transition to parenting seemed worthwhile and effective.  We moved to be
closer to my work and my husband found a fabulous job with a small company 10
minutes from mine.

What happened next seems so surreal even now, that I’m still reeling.
After the nonprofit’s financials took a dive due to some state budget
cuts and after some staff people decided they weren’t after all amused by
having an executive director keen on change, I was effectively asked to resign.

Many tears and confused phone calls later, I was delivered my personal
effects to my home and I’m now without a job in this new town of ours. 

I don’t know if any of you have ever effectively been fired, but it does get
one right in the gut.  One is left with this sinking feeling that all those
good grades and kudos from the past might have been wrong after all. 

Making sense of betrayal and one’s place in the order of things is not one
of my strong points.  I can be a smart-ass, make jokes, and be silly with
the best of them. But faced with something as unfunny as this, I’m left with
only a pea shooter and one bean against an entire army of self-doubt.  Until then, thanks to Andie for this comic interlude:


**Baby Miranda is in the CrankMama sig picture at the top of the blog.


9 Responses to “I Am The Job”

  1. September 7, 2006 at 11:39 am

    I was let-go of a job once. I was even headhunted to the place by the 2 owners and some friends who had worked there.

    I felt betrayed after they told me “I was no longer needed? after 6 months of busting my butt (I didn’t see it coming).
    But I learned from it. I got an even better job and went even further with my career than all of them could even imagine.

    Now, I’m in a position to contract work to them. They call me occasionally looking for stuff but I’ll never use them for anything, not even to wash my car.

    But it was a blessing in disguise. If they never let me go, other opportunities would have never happened. It?s all in how you view things.

  2. September 7, 2006 at 3:03 pm

    Sorry to hear you lost your job. Personally I was usually pleased to be let go from the jobs I was made redundant from, but since you obviously enjoyed your job, I guess it sucks. You’ll get over the self-doubt. I promise.

  3. September 7, 2006 at 3:57 pm

    Thanks Emma and Tony for your kind words… Here’s to better times!

  4. September 7, 2006 at 5:18 pm

    Oh wow I had no idea. How shitty!!!!!!

    My only unasked for advice is to remember that time heals all. With a little Prozac. And wine. And chocolate.

  5. September 7, 2006 at 11:26 pm

    Ugh, that just bites. I’m so sorry about that. I’ve never been very good with witty, one-liners that help take the focus of something horrible that’s happened. But I do feel ya – just more of an excuse to indulge in chocolate; dark chocolate! Hope your spirits are higher soon…

  6. September 8, 2006 at 9:39 am

    Oh, there are few things as horrible for the self-esteem than getting fired. Especially when you feel that you are doing a good job (And I think that you were).

    Don’t rush to be funny. We don’t mind. Try to look at it like you were threatening because you were GOOD. I have seen it happen time and time again. Some get their knickers in a twist because they HATE CHANGE and bitch until they get that level of comfort back. Sucks, but I highly doubt it was because of you.

    I think that the moms are the ones that will suffer and that is sad.


  7. September 8, 2006 at 7:17 pm

    Eesh. I’m so sorry that happened. You’ll forget feeling shitty the second something better comes along, the thing you were meant to do. Don’t let the turkeys get you down, just be glad go got off that sinking ship.

  8. September 9, 2006 at 5:11 pm

    Oh man, sorry to hear about this! 😦 It’s always heartbreaking to get booted from a job. (The two times I got sacked was also due to office politics).

    But I agree with Tony. “When one door closes, another one opens” sounds trite, but it’s true.


  9. September 13, 2006 at 11:15 am

    Everyone worth their salt has been fired. And it’s almost always for some inexplicable randomness that knocks from left field. Things will work out. You didn’t want to work with those bastards anyway.

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