Here’s what being sick means now that I’m in my late 30s and have successfully reproduced a triplet of girls under 5 whose endless needs spike up as my energy crashes.
1. Morning dose of twinfighting escalates and ends with hitting and yelling and bad words ("You are a butt poop!")
2. Last Swim Lesson cannot be missed, temperature and sore throat notwithstanding
3. Feel hungover, but without the benefit of pre-party or cute dress or drunk sex with hubcap.
4. The over-talk famous among parents of twins everywhere fades into a not wholly unpleasant background buzzing noise, followed by call-outs
"Momma! MOOOOOMMMMMAAAAAA! Ma- Maaa! Answer us! Right This Minute!!"
5. Start watching the clock and realize it’s going to be a long one…
6. Play fun game called "Tune In / Tune Out" where I listen to snippets of the constant talking that goes like this
"…and the family lived in the bubble.."
"…nine, ten, YOU’RE the witch!"
"I told you, pee, talk to your parents!"
" Don’t worry, mama, we’re just being ghostses…"
7. And we’re out of coffee…